I think I’m fairly competent at this writing biz, I can string together sentences that are reasonable, occasionally funny, some might say even thoughtful.

So why is it that when it comes to my own personal dating life, I’m a total and utter fuckwit?

When I get a message from someone I should be able to be funny, charming and clever, but somehow all this goes right out the window and I just seem kind of a bit awkward and dare I say it, inexperienced.
Thing is, I’m actually good at this when it comes to my friends and their love lives. On occasion, I’m so good that it sometimes gets a bit Cyrano De Bergerac (or Roxanne, that Steve Martin/Daryl Hannah film if you want a more ‘modern’ interpretation).
I have a friend, and she gets a lot of messages from people on Tinder. I can not count the number of times I’ve received texts from her with a screenshot of a conversation where she’s reached a dead end and needs something to say.
She messages me for help with this because, when it comes to other people, I am on fire with sort of thing.

Need to say thanks, with a dash of wit, to a compliment about your hair? Send it my way.
(That’s really lovely of you to notice, it comes complete with my head)

Want to meet up but don’t know how to suggest it? BOOM
(We seem to be getting on as well as two random strangers talking on an Internet dating site can. Want to see if we could replicate, or maybe even surpass this, in real life?)

I’m telling you, I am your woman when it comes to dating sidekicks. I’ve got your back when words fail you.
And yet, somehow, all this vanishes when it gets personal. Maybe subconsciously I’m sabotaging myself, because I don’t think I deserve a happy relationship, maybe when it gets too personal to me, I can’t take the pressure because it’s so loaded with potential success, or disaster.

Or maybe I’m looking at it wrong, maybe the reason I’m alright at writing, funny, romantic things for my friends is because the pressure is off, as it’s not for me, it’s for them and the altruistic part of me is less with the worry, more with the do nice things.
Who really knows, it’s most likely some of both, but, given the choice, I think I prefer altruistic brain over self-loathing brain.