I’ve been single for over two years now. It’s weird, as that’s the longest I’ve been alone since I was 19. I say alone, but obviously I’m not alone, I have people, I have a tribe, for want of a better collective noun.
But still, sometimes, I think to myself, is this it?
Is my future just me?
And if it is, how do I deal with that? How does anyone deal with that?
Part of who we are is about needing to belong, to be wanted, both by groups of people, and individuals. The strength of this feeling is strong. It makes us talk to complete strangers, it makes us share stories, emotions, feelings, all in order to create a link with another soul.
We need this, I need this. It’s a matter of survival. It’s a matter of life.

The possibility of being without that, of knowing it’s a reality that becomes more likely the longer I stay single, is honestly really fucking scary.
People do it, I know not everyone gets the story they deserve, and they survive, they live, they deal with it. It’s just, well, I’m not one of those people. I don’t want to be one of those people.
I don’t want to deal with it, even though, ultimately, that’s exactly what I will have to do as, in actuality, I fear I am one of those people.