I may of mentioned that I use dating websites. You know, just in passing, but anyhow, there’s something that happens like a lot on these sites, and that’s the “Hi” message.

I’m sitting there, doing my stuff ( y’know, stuff yeah? it’s great, and me? i’m doing it ) and my phone will doing a little ding and I see there’s a message from someone on OkCupid lets say, mainly because it’s always OkCupid this happens on.

I’m all ‘oooohhhh, a message, this is exciting!’ and then i open it and the message is “hi”.

That’s it. Just “Hi”. Sometimes, if the sender wants to add more emotional depth, they’ll stick an exclamation mark on the end as well, but it’s mainly just “Hi” .

I need to tell you, that message, it’s just not doing it for me. I admire the succinctness of it, sure, and as an opening, it’s a great start, but really, I need more. Like at least a paragraph, that would be nice.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not looking for a life history, but something to suggest you’ve read my profile, or I don’t know, actually can communicate using more than one syllable would be ace. Seriously.

Also, and this maybe a huge generalization here, but why is it always men that send the ‘Hi’ messages? Every single one I’ve ever got is from someone male. Every single one. Sometimes it’ll even be the same men. Honestly if I didn’t know better i’d assume they’re just spamming lots and lots of people all at once in the hope of getting lucky just through the law of averages. Which would never happen right?……..