Archives for the month of: July, 2013

Another film, another haiku. This one was tricky to write well, still not sure about the last line but it does kind of work so i’m going with it……

Tigers are tricky
to share a boat with, Pi does
commendably though..

Here’s a weird thing.  Right now I can’t really be bothered with dating. I’m at a metaphorical lagrangian point, where the pull of wanting to be with someone, and the pull of being single cancel each other out.

It’s a strange place to be, and to be honest i’m not sure how it happened.  I’m sure that I was pretty interested in being with someone a while a go, and , if say,  I was hanging out at a bar, and someone hit on me, i’d totally go along with it ( although obviously with proviso’s. Remember the rules, mutual attraction, not a serial killer, etc ). It’s just that if I was at bar and nobody hit on me, i’d be happy with that as well.

Shit. I think that’s what being content is.

 

 

So, another Haiku, about another film about how depressing love is. Lovefilm is sending me some frankly bleak films at the moment. God job my love life is so fulfilled at the moment *sob*

Sex and death create
disjointed sorrow, in the
defiant sixties.

Okay, so I know it’s predictable to moan about it but man it is hot at the moment. It’s the night that’s the problem to be honest. During the daytime we’re all look at the sun, isn’t it great, lets do stuff outside, lets start wearing stuff without sleeves, lets grow freckles and eat Freezepops.  Its great, it’s all great, that is in till we try to go to bed.

Then it sucks. Here is a typical night in bed for me at the moment ( steady now, i’m currently in a desert of singleness without an oasis in sight, so it’s not going where you think it is )

  1.  I feel tired
  2. I get into bed
  3. I am too hot almost instantly
  4. I open the window, and ahhhh, fresh air.
  5. A bazillion spiders, moths and other assorted flying beasties drop by the open window like it’s a party that’s been accidentally advertised on Facebook.
  6. I spend an hour catching said beasts and removing them. ( I say catching, I also mean squashing as well, which probably makes me sound bad. If it helps I do have a squash/don’t squash pecking order, depending on how big, or likely to bite me the bugs are )
  7. I close the window and think about how one day I’ll make a screen thing for it that’ll stop all this insect nonsense.
  8. I feel hot, again.
  9. I open the window just a little bit. They won’t come in when it’s just a little bit open yeah?
  10. They come in. Step 6 repeats. I mull on the fact that as long as the window is open, the insects will come in. They are no respecters of personal space.
  11.  I lie in my hot bed, in my hot room, being hot until i slip into a heat induced semi coma.

I should probably just buy a fan.

When i’m not being angsty about love, i also watch films. I could, if I was inclined, write reviews of these films, but the reviews would most probably consist of “I liked this film, it was great because it had horses in it and there was good stuff that happened”.
Not really up to scratch i’m sure you’ll agree.
So instead, in the first of a sort of ongoing series, i’m going to write haikus instead. Movie Haiku yay!

I’m sure its been done before, but I very much doubt its been done with such little regard for the traditions of both haiku writing, and film reviewing. Yeah.
Anyhow, first up is the beautifully shot, but very depressing 2012 version of Wuthering Heights.

Heathcliff and Cathy
have bad times on sublime moors
love is bleak as fuck

 

I’ve been in a few relationships, and they’ve been okay, I’ve had a good time, but quite often I haven’t been especially happy. Yeah, there’s been some highs, but those lows, oh those lows. I’ve been single for awhile now, and although there’s been some low points, most of it has been good. I feel happy most of the time.

This makes me think, did being in a relationship make me unhappy? If it did make me unhappy why do I still think about being in another one?

I guess there is still a need to be wanted, to be found beautiful by someone. I personally know this to be true of me, there’s nothing more lovely than knowing someone finds you attractive, and on the occasions I’ve noticed someone checking me out i get a proper little buzz of excitement, which is a joy for sure.

But then, at the same time, i also absolutely love the freedom of being single too. I come and go as I please, I have no one to answer to except myself. Its a heady drug, and its pretty addictive.

Is there a middle ground? Can you have the relationship and the freedom? Would it even work? Or am I destined to flit from one thing to another, single until I get too lonely, then relationship-ed till I feel too trapped?
Maybe it’s just me, I look around and see everyone in relationships, and they don’t look trapped, they seem pretty happy, they seem in love.
Maybe that’s the trick I’m missing, maybe love makes not being single okay.

Freiya Benson

Writer & Photographer.

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