When I was a teenager i was kinda awkward. It was very much inevitable, i had issues that were pretty big, and there was no internet to ask for help in those dark days.
One thing I found really hard to work out was how love fitted into how i was. I knew I found people attractive, I even attempted a date or two, but it was all very confusing.
If this was love, how come it was so awkward, and messy, and how the fuck could i ever fit into this, when i’m not even sure what or who I am?
I needed some pointers.
I brought the album Solitude/Solitaire. Maybe not the best title for an album, although it does have a level of puntasticness that was pretty sharp for the eighties, i’ll admit.
My main incentive for buying the album was The Glory of Love, from the Karate Kid 2. It’s a catchy song, it spoke of this thing called love, and i needed to know more so i saved up some money, and brought the cassette album, as CD’s hadn’t been invented yet. ( I know, the past is so backwards, it’s literally like another time )
I listened to the whole album many, many times, absorbing the lyrics, singing along, headphones clutched to my head. I discovered many things, including the awkward fact that wearing headphones does not make singing along silent to people around you.
( Honestly actual embarrassment is when your Mum comes upstairs to ask you to stop singing as everyone in the Bible Study group being held in your house can hear you singing
Like a knight in shining armor from a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away
Fml, as the kids say nowadays. )
Apart from learning about headphones, I also learnt
-that honor should be fought for,
-that men are often bastards,
-that they don’t make em like they used too, but that that’s okay because new is better anyhow,
-that love can be fleeting, but it can also be reoccurring, and that we should learn from it each time it happens
-and finally, that we should always do it for the glory of love.
Admittedly its a strange mix of advice regarding the complexities of love, and if you add in the complexities of identity as well it gets pretty messy pretty quickly, but for some reason this album, and the songs on it, actually got me through some tough times growing up. Go figure eh?