You know what’s hardest thing about breaking up with someone? What keeps me up at night if I think about it?  Even though it was for the best for both of us, even though I know it was the right thing to do, the fact that I hurt someone really, really badly is the worst thing I know right now.

 I think I know it’s the worst thing because I’ve been there and I’ve felt that hurt. It rips through you, it crushes your heart and it seems like it’ll never go away. And as much as I can compartmentalize it, every now and again it pops out of the box, and I realise I made someone feel like that because of something I chose to do.

Reading this it probably sounds like I regret breaking up with my ex, but I honestly don’t regret it, it was the right thing to do, I just wish it could of happened without her feeling like shit, and me feeling like a complete asshole.

I know time does it’s magic, and makes us feel less about things we felt more about once upon a time, and that is the way things should be, a world of lovesick people would be a very, very bad world indeed, it’s just it would be good if we could fast forward a little, to the time where they’re okay, in a relationship, moved on, and I’m not feeling guilty about something I had to do to save myself.

There will be times when I feel differently, but sometimes, in the dark night, or the early morning, I’m not so sure I want another relationship……..

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