Part of breaking up with someone is what happens next. You go from one relationship with that person, into another, very unlike the one before, and it’s disconcerting to say the least.

I’ve been the dumper, and dumpee, and both times we actively agreed to stay friends. Which is not easy. In fact its confusing, tricky, complex and awkward. It’s also totally worth it.

The first time I was the dumpee, in a mutual sort of way. It was a long long term relationship, we’re talking double figures years wise, and it was also my first relationship, so double wammie there as well.

It kinda had to happen, we wanted different things, blahdy blah, you know the story, it’s been told enough times, but anyhow, even though we couldn’t be together, we still wanted to remain friends. It was hard, especially as she went into a relationship fairly quickly after the break up, whilst I stayed a singleton. Meeting at first was awkward. Do we kiss? If we do, where is okay? ( okay some places are obviously not okay, but I’m talking lips, cheek, air above the face, hand? ) How about paying for food? talking about current relationship status-y things? hell, talking about our relationship? What’s okay?

Anyhow, once you get past that bit, it’s okay. It seems, to me anyhow, such a shame to loose someone who once meant so much, and as long as you both can get over not being in the relationship, and get into being in a friendship then it can be a great thing. I guess, like everything it needs time, willingness, and work.

And the other relationship, where I was the dumper? That’s a different story again, and one i’ll go into more in the next post…….