Identity is a tricky thing.
I’ve spent a long time with mine, and even now I still struggle sometimes. I mean, at the most simple level I identify as genderqueer, or queer, or bi, or maybe even polysexual, or trans*, or……. shit. Identity overload.
I think half the problem is that I know about too many identities, and quite possibly, these identities are pretty alien to a lot of people, and so I try and find one that isn’t, in order to make it easier for other people to understand.
Yeah, I know, shaping your identity to fit around other people, that’ll definitely work, no problem.
If I look at it on a basic level, I think part of the issue lies in the fact that one major identity, something a lot of people don’t even question, was slightly off from the start. Many many people know what gender they are, it’s something that isn’t even questioned, because it just is.
Mine really wasn’t though. I know now that I identity as female, it even says so on my passport, so that’s like a serious thumbs up from the powers, and I am happy with that, but for a long long time I wasn’t so sure.
Something that is so simple for millions of people, was ( is? ) something so complex for me, so complex that it took nearly thirty years to even vaguely begin to comprehend, and that’s without the added complication of sexual identity.
I think, no, I know, I’m getting there, both with sexual, and gender identity, but man alive it’s a hard road sometimes.
Then again, in many ways I guess its a hard road for most of us. The issues maybe different, but the size and complexity, in relation to us all as individuals, is always going to be equal, because well, if it wasn’t it wouldn’t matter, and the road wouldn’t be hard sometimes.